How Patriarchy Gaslights Us
Hello Brave Ones,
Let’s get real about something we’ve all experienced but don’t always have the words to name: gaslighting. It’s not just something that happens in personal relationships—it’s embedded in the systems we navigate every day.
Patriarchy, at its core, is one big gaslight. It tells us to shrink, stay silent, and doubt our worth while convincing us that it’s for our own good. It’s subtle, pervasive, and designed to keep us questioning ourselves. But here’s the truth: when you start to recognize the ways patriarchy manipulates your thoughts and actions, you take the first step toward dismantling it.
Let’s start calling it out.
How Patriarchy Gaslights Us
Gaslighting, as you know, is when someone manipulates you into doubting your reality. Now imagine that happening on a cultural level. That’s patriarchy’s favorite trick.
It whispers, “You’re overreacting,” when you call out injustice. It questions your capabilities every time you dare to lead. It labels you “emotional” when you advocate for yourself and “selfish” when you prioritize your needs.
Patriarchy doesn’t need to shout—it’s already woven into the way we talk, think, and make decisions. And the worst part? It often makes us complicit in our own silencing.
Here are a few examples:
“I should be grateful for what I have. Who am I to ask for more?”
“If I speak up, they’ll think I’m being dramatic.”
“I’m probably just imagining that they’re treating me differently because I’m a woman.”
Sound familiar? That’s the gaslighting in action—making you question what you know to be true.
Here’s what I want you to remember: your feelings are valid. Your boundaries are valid. Your ambitions are valid. Patriarchy thrives on making us feel like we’re wrong for wanting what we deserve. The moment you stop doubting yourself is the moment you start reclaiming your power.
This week, pay attention to where this subtle gaslighting shows up in your life. It might be in a workplace interaction, a family conversation, or even in the way you talk to yourself. When you spot it, pause, breathe, and remind yourself: This is not my truth. I know my worth.
You don’t need permission to trust yourself. You already have all the authority you need.
Tools for Transformation
The Reality Check Practice
When you notice feelings of doubt creeping in, pause and ask yourself:
What am I feeling right now?
What triggered this feeling?
Identify the source of the doubt. Is it your inner critic? Someone else’s opinion? A cultural narrative?
Challenge it by stating your truth out loud. For example:
“I am not being dramatic—I am expressing myself clearly.”
“I am not asking for too much—I am asking for what I deserve.”
Carry that truth with you as you navigate the situation.
This practice is about recognizing when gaslighting is happening and re-grounding yourself in your own reality.
Power Playlist
This Week’s Song: “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten
Why This Song?: "This song is an anthem of reclaiming your voice and refusing to let anyone diminish your power. It’s a reminder to stand firm in your truth, even when the world tries to silence you."
What’s Next
Next week, we’re diving into redefining power—what it means, what it looks like, and how to claim it on your terms.
For Paid Subscribers:
This week, you’ll find your exclusive audio guide:
Audio Guide Title: "How Patriarchy Gaslights Us"
In this guide, I’ll share stories, insights, and practical tools to help you spot and dismantle the cultural gaslighting that keeps women doubting themselves.
You’ll also receive this week’s paid subscriber challenge:
Challenge Title: "Reclaim Your Reality"
I’ll guide you through identifying moments of gaslighting in your day-to-day life and replacing them with empowering truths.
Unfiltered Moment
This week, I caught myself hesitating before saying no to something I really didn’t want to do. For a moment, I thought, “If I say no, they’ll think I’m being ungrateful or difficult.” That familiar voice of doubt crept in, whispering that my boundaries might inconvenience someone else.
But then I stopped and asked myself: Who benefits from me saying yes to something that drains me? The answer was clear—not me. So, I said no. And guess what? The world kept turning.
It’s in these small moments that we reclaim our power—one “no” at a time.
In Your Corner, Always
Brave ones, remember this: patriarchy may be loud, but your truth is louder. Trust yourself. Trust your voice. And when the world tries to gaslight you into doubt, stand firm in the knowledge that you are worthy, capable, and unstoppable.
Let me know how this week’s tools and reflections land for you. I’d love to hear your wins, your insights, or even the challenges you’re facing. Reply to this email or message me—I’m here for you.
Dee
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